Tag Archives: contemporary art

Eli versus Modern Art: Part 2

‘Desire and fracking meet on a mountainside.’


‘Past cultural traditions provide future insights.’


‘Grief and microbes generate new possibilities for housing.’



‘Hurdles, pens and feeding troughs are just some of the equipment deployed in farming industries including commerce, handling, petting and even international diplomacy.’

So basically you’re a sheep mate.


Not here mate. Not here.

#isthistomorrow @the_whitechapel.

Some words: Accessible. Thought provoking. Good baby change.


Martin x

Tagged , , , , ,


“So, yeah, there’s more crime but you can get a yam at 3 in the morning.”



The Turner Prize was all videos.

Normally we don’t watch the videos.

Eli did not like the videos.

He liked playing on “Daddy’s pone.”

Until he started inadvertently Skyping bath time pictures of himself.

I explained this was inappropriate.

This happened.


The Turner Prize?

Last time we got a selfie under a big bum for Instagram.

This was just videos.

3 Colin Stars.


Martin x

Tagged , , , ,


“This, my son, is why we used to pay twice the rent and ride to work in cattle trucks… to see weird stuff in galleries.”

Elmgreen and Dragset @_thewhitechapel.

“Iiiiiiccee Creeeeaaam.”



They say: “The work conveys a criticality towards the austerity measures and rising gentrification that have lead to the decline of municipal spaces.”

We say: “For a second I thought that was a real baby.”





















Some words: capitalism, babies, swimming pools, gentrification, children, Louise Bourgeoise, guns, cash, misery, fear, Jesus.


5 Colin Stars.


Martin x

Tagged , , , , ,


“No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No.”
“Its conceptual, Eli. You need to give it a bit of time.”
Toddlers, eh?
‘H2O Art of Wet’ at The Undercroft, Norwich.


“Down. Down. Down. Down. Down. Down. Down. Down. Down. Down.”
Its under the market square. Look.

“Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out.”
“I can’t deal with conceptual art and you running amok.”


Some words: water, plastic, water, plastic, horny face, bucket, spade, love, hate, indifference, jelly, puddles, sea, splash, water.”
Some words from a two year old. “Wet. Wet. Wet. Wet. Wet. Wet. Wet. Wet. Wet. Wet.”

“I know you are but I can’t change you here.”

5 Stars.


Martin xx

Tagged , , , , ,


SOMEONE needs to provide a comprehensive weekly directory of North Norfolk arts.

And it may as well be me.

A white staffy from Essex.

Well, maybe not weekly.

Im busy.


First up we travelled (walked) to Sheringham Museum to see ‘Drift’ by Jeanette Bolton-Martin.

It wasn’t photos on paper!

It was photos on silk!

They say: “Original cyanotypes created by Jeanette Bolton Martin, have been digitally reproduced on silk organza for the installation. The audience interacting, by allowing their walking around the space to create movement in the material. Throughout the duration of the exhibition, the silk edges of the artworks will begin to fray, simulating coastal erosion. At the end of the exhibition, the debris of frayed threads will be drifted out to sea and retrieved again.”

We say: It was really lovely looking out the tower of the museum, over Sheringham, through the beautiful, delicate works themselves representing the views.


Barely a day later we trotted (got the train) to Cromer. If you want to see an exhibition of wonderful art works by North Norfolk artists and you’ve gone to Cromer you’ve gone to the right place.

The RNLI Henry Blogg Museum.

One of the best bits was the models of typical seaside buildings made out of driftwood found on the beach.

Its kind of the same thing as the Sheringham thing.

I think they call it a synchronicity of content and form.

See – I can do arts – subscribe now!


Martin xx

Tagged , , , , , , ,


Eat a chuffing piece of shortbread and shhhhh!

IMG 0939


“The government announced in October that it will no longer be capping housing benefit for supported housing. This is a big win for Rethink Mental Illness.”

It was an exhibition at The Forum in Norwich. All the art was by people who had suffered from mental health difficulties.

IMG 0938

Eli did stop yelling randomly to say he liked the “dog.” Because he can say it.
Alyssa liked the fox.
Colin yelled out randomly to say he liked this one:

IMG 0998

We all loved the story.

“Thanks to thousands of campaigners campaigning with us on PIP the government have announced that they will not be challenging a court ruling from December which stated that last year’s changes to PIP were ‘blatantly discriminatory’ towards people with mental illness.”

Battles fought and won. Battles ongoing.


Martin x

IMG 0944

Tagged , , , ,


Strolled to an urban centre for some regional culture and regional gins.


“21st century humanity feels adrift in a sea of lies, deception and falsity.”


Seems Scrabble is the answer. 

I always knew it.

The excellent #nickwarbuton @norwichartscentr.

There was also mustard seeds in a frame…

I know!

And a celebrity breath auction.

I know!


The regional gins were lovely.


Martin x

Tagged , , , , ,


Quantum Physics says I can be in two places at the same time.
Kennel’s in Norfolk/gallery in the Alps.
Google it.


So we went to this gallery.
In the Alps.
Here is some of the art:

What’s all that about?
Human condition innit.

Endlessly changing.

The stones are sort of a zen garden and sort of about erosion.

So the man gave us a rock and told us to engrave love or something on it.
We used a biro.
And anyway eroding love seemed a bit sad so we chose something that was kind of sad in the passing but also optimistic as changing into something new.

We then had to put the stone in a stream and the artist is going to make a map on social media or something.



Martin x

Tagged , , , , , ,


#tillmans @Tate.

Some words: meat, flies, privates, necks, moss, drains, the reemergence of activism, the ocean, draughts, shrewd observations about contemporary world views, hair, weapons of mass destruction, photocopiers and a toucan.

That’s about the gist of it.

3 Colin Stars,


Martin xx

Tagged , , , ,


Come on…

Who doesn’t want to lie down in an art gallery on a big black cushion and be guided through an archive of alternative futures?


Actually it was really good.

Joachim Koester @camdenartsctr


But when I get home I like to lie down on Baby Eli’s play mat.

Because I love him.

But I’m not meant to.

Because I might get it dirty.

But I love him so much.

I keep doing it.

Who wouldn’t?



Martin xx

IMG 7810

IMG 7892

Tagged , , ,