Tag Archives: Art

UNCOOPERATIVE

I can imagine, as Rembrandt was sitting at his easel in the 17th century… he was thinking:
“One day they’ll reproduce this scene in a provincial castle-come-gallery in 21st Century England so people can dress their tired/uncooperative babies up as me to share on their computers.”
And some of their dads will enjoy it too.


Sometimes things for the last hour are only 2 pounds or something coz you don’t get long. 

Long enough with a screaming baby.

5 Colin Stars,

Cheers,

Martin xx

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I KNOW

Strolled to an urban centre for some regional culture and regional gins.

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“21st century humanity feels adrift in a sea of lies, deception and falsity.”

Blimey.

Seems Scrabble is the answer. 


I always knew it.

The excellent #nickwarbuton @norwichartscentr.
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There was also mustard seeds in a frame…


I know!

And a celebrity breath auction.


I know!

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The regional gins were lovely.

Cheers,

Martin x

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UNDERCURRENTS

“They lived in squares and loved in triangles.”

 

Like me with the local Norfolk bitches.

 

#queerbritishart @tate.

 

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“Erlands firm grip on the guns barrel seems suggestive.”

 

Perhaps he was just worried it might ‘go off.’

 

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“He wrestled with the competing impulses of figuration and abstraction.”

 

I wrestle with whether to poop inside or outside.

 

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“References to death and it’s peace can be disrupted by undercurrents of desire.”

 

We’ve all been there.

 

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“He gravitated to London where he began the visceral exploration of the human figure.”

 

But now we’ve moved to the seaside.

 

3 Colin Stars,

 

Cheers,

 

Martin x

 

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PUKING

Your baby is puking, your dog is pulling, the clouds are emptying…

What do you want your husband to say at that point… to ease the pain…

“Can we got to the shell gallery?”

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I mean this wasn’t quite the avant grade art galleries of Bethnal Green, yet neither was it the £6 fan museum of Greenwich.

Its amazing what people can do with shells.

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Imagine what they could put those skills to…

Imagine.

Cheers,

Martin xx

PS Oh, its free.

PPS You just have to travel to the loveliest town in the world.

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MEAT

#tillmans @Tate.

Some words: meat, flies, privates, necks, moss, drains, the reemergence of activism, the ocean, draughts, shrewd observations about contemporary world views, hair, weapons of mass destruction, photocopiers and a toucan.

That’s about the gist of it.

3 Colin Stars,

Cheers,

Martin xx

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FUTURES

Come on…

Who doesn’t want to lie down in an art gallery on a big black cushion and be guided through an archive of alternative futures?

No-one.

Actually it was really good.

Joachim Koester @camdenartsctr

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But when I get home I like to lie down on Baby Eli’s play mat.

Because I love him.

But I’m not meant to.

Because I might get it dirty.

But I love him so much.

I keep doing it.

Who wouldn’t?

No-one.

Cheers,

Martin xx

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INSIGHT

“We possess an extraordinary instrument for reproduction. But photography is much more than that.” #Maholy-Nagy

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You need to make the most of blogs about pictures that don’t look like what they’re meant to be because soon I’ll be reviewing beaches and tea houses in the sticks.

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Some words: black, white, men, women, masks, poverty, Elton John, shadows, eyes, tears, marbles, eye cubes, rice.

It’s that kind of staffy insight you’re going to miss.

Cheers,

Martin x

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BLITHERING

“You’re going to love this.”
“I love this.”

Except she didn’t really love it.
She virtually loved it.
Or really loved the virtual.

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What’s this staffy blithering on about?
Art, innit.
#Dreamkubrick @somersethouse.
There was a virtual reality bit to answer your question.
I think it was from ‘2001-A Space Odyssey’ but I could find a guidebook.

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Still it was very, very good…
Look at this!


And this!


Profound too, innit.

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5 Colin Stars.
£12.50 but you don’t at all mind.

Cheers,

Martin X

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THE BABY WOT BLOGS

Martin wasn’t in the mood for Georgia O’Keeffe @tate modern (“all them bloomin flowers”) so Eli went to his first art exhibition, with his mummy and daddy, and blogged.

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I liked it when my daddy took me out the pram and put me over his shoulder.

I like moving around. It keeps me calm.

Like daddy.

I like the patterns and the colours.

Like daddy.

I liked looking at the beautiful visions.

Such as my mummy.

Cheers,

Eli x

PS I’m very advanced and want to point out to Martin it should read ‘The Dog THAT Blogs.’

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NEW

This afternoon I…

Found “New ways of seeing.”

Experienced “New truths.”

Witnessed “New forms of modern beauty.”

All a bit much for a dank Wednesday.

#paintingwithlight @tate

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Turns out painting and photography are linked.

Copying, correcting, challenging and complementing.

I can do that.


Or


Or


“Truth in every particular ought to be the aim of the artist.”

Okay, tomorrow.

“Rejecting nothing, selecting nothing.”

Iv other things to do.

This was the best one…

Arthur Hacker ‘A Wet Night at Piccadilly Circus.’


But I mucked around with it.

4 Colin Stars,

Cheers,

Martin X

PS the other great thing was the shop…

Bought Eli his 1st proper ted…

The cashier joked that she feels cruel putting them in bags because it might remind them of the days when they were vacuum packed…….

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