“So, yeah, there’s more crime but you can get a yam at 3 in the morning.”
#London.
*****
The Turner Prize was all videos.
Normally we don’t watch the videos.
Eli did not like the videos.
He liked playing on “Daddy’s pone.”
Until he started inadvertently Skyping bath time pictures of himself.
I explained this was inappropriate.
This happened.
*****
The Turner Prize?
Last time we got a selfie under a big bum for Instagram.
This was just videos.
3 Colin Stars.
Cheers,
Martin x
“They lived in squares and loved in triangles.”
Like me with the local Norfolk bitches.
#queerbritishart @tate.
*****
“Erlands firm grip on the guns barrel seems suggestive.”
Perhaps he was just worried it might ‘go off.’
*****
“He wrestled with the competing impulses of figuration and abstraction.”
I wrestle with whether to poop inside or outside.
******
“References to death and it’s peace can be disrupted by undercurrents of desire.”
We’ve all been there.
*****
“He gravitated to London where he began the visceral exploration of the human figure.”
But now we’ve moved to the seaside.
3 Colin Stars,
Cheers,
Martin x
Had to queue up with the plebs it was so busy.
Blooming joke.
They should have put a sign up.
A lady was becoming flustered.
#Hockney @tate.
*****
Some of it I liked. Some of it I didn’t.
Some words: Splash, bottoms, parents, iPads, Yorkshire.
I liked the ones where he coloured them properly in but not the ones where he coloured them in too much.
Thats the tension inherent in Modern Art.
3 Colin Stars,
Cheers,
Martin x
“We possess an extraordinary instrument for reproduction. But photography is much more than that.” #Maholy-Nagy
*****
You need to make the most of blogs about pictures that don’t look like what they’re meant to be because soon I’ll be reviewing beaches and tea houses in the sticks.
*****
Some words: black, white, men, women, masks, poverty, Elton John, shadows, eyes, tears, marbles, eye cubes, rice.
It’s that kind of staffy insight you’re going to miss.
Cheers,
Martin x
Martin wasn’t in the mood for Georgia O’Keeffe @tate modern (“all them bloomin flowers”) so Eli went to his first art exhibition, with his mummy and daddy, and blogged.
*****
I liked it when my daddy took me out the pram and put me over his shoulder.
I like moving around. It keeps me calm.
Like daddy.
I like the patterns and the colours.
Like daddy.
I liked looking at the beautiful visions.
Such as my mummy.
Cheers,
Eli x
PS I’m very advanced and want to point out to Martin it should read ‘The Dog THAT Blogs.’
This afternoon I…
Found “New ways of seeing.”
Experienced “New truths.”
Witnessed “New forms of modern beauty.”
All a bit much for a dank Wednesday.
#paintingwithlight @tate
*****
Turns out painting and photography are linked.
Copying, correcting, challenging and complementing.
I can do that.
Or
Or
“Truth in every particular ought to be the aim of the artist.”
Okay, tomorrow.
“Rejecting nothing, selecting nothing.”
Iv other things to do.
This was the best one…
Arthur Hacker ‘A Wet Night at Piccadilly Circus.’
But I mucked around with it.
4 Colin Stars,
Cheers,
Martin X
PS the other great thing was the shop…
Bought Eli his 1st proper ted…
The cashier joked that she feels cruel putting them in bags because it might remind them of the days when they were vacuum packed…….
Baby sometimes disturbs my afternoon dognaps (he’s a lot more demanding than me) so I sashayed over to @tate modern for #monahatoum.
“I want the work in the first instance to have a strong formal presence and through the physical experience to activate a psychological and emotional response.”
Don’t we all, love.
There was a cheese grater turned into a bed which I thought was a clever idea.
Reminded me a lot of the old nail iron of Man Ray.
“A world characterised by conflicts and contradictions.”
You’re telling me.
But Staffies are lovers not fighters.
5 Colin Stars.
I really liked it.
Cheers,
Martin x
Art eh?
*****
I was invited to take an orange from a pile.
But I couldn’t take a picture.
*****
“Art works were ordered, not by space or volume, but by time.”
*****
I don’t like oranges.
*****
“Reading rather than looking.”
*****
Ok, ok… 5 Colin Stars.
Cheers,
Martin xx
PS On the way home I couldn’t shut my bag because of the blinkin orange.
2 Colin Stars.
The capitals art scene quakes as this cultural Staffordshire Bull Terrier limbers up to deliver his verdict on #worldgoespop @tate.
Careers, reputations, assumptions and dreams could be shattered in a moment.
*****
They say: “The World Goes Pop expands the notion of pop art into a far wider geographical context.”
We say: “When a stuffed female with a tv in her stomach tells you that it really is “the last time” you know you’re in proper trouble…”
*****
Some words: fly swatter, lips, nailed, Vietnam, sauce, Romania, liberation, the American Dream, balls, violence, folky stuff, neon, mirrors and a broken heart.
*****
Love Delia Cancela’s ‘Broken Heart.’
Overheard:
A passing mother: “Like a jigsaw.”
A passing child: “Put it together.”
*****
5 Colin Stars
Cheers,
Martin xx
I really, really liked Barbara Hepworth @tate.
It was nearly as good as Agnes Martin @tate modern.
But this wasn’t nothingness. This was… thingness.
*****
Some words: balls, string, paint, tension, very busy, surgery, women, animals, marble, bronze, wood, walking all the way round things, inside, outside, love.
******
It starts of with a room with lots of different sculptures by different people.
I liked the onyx toad the best.
Then there is a room that is all drawings and paintings of her.
Then it’s things actually by her.
5 Colin Stars.
Cheers,
Martin xx
