Victoria and Albert Museum. Shoes: Pleasure and Pain.

Some words:

Red shoes, pointy shoes, furry shoes, glass shoes, lovebird shoes, anemone shoes, surreal shoes, gold shoes, pompon shoes, beaded shoes, pink shoes, transparent shoes, royal shoes, golf shoes, fairy tale shoes, french shoes, space shoes, Jimmy Choo shoes, rainbow shoes, platform shoes, silver shoes, silver platform shoes, wedding shoes, kick ass shoes, bubble shoes, tiny shoes, cad shoes, brazen shoes.

And, I nearly missed them, secreted behind a velvet curtain, a certain type of shoe.

All pleasure.


Colin, sorry, Martin x


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It’s nice to be led.

It’s nice to be told about things.

It’s nice to wander round London on a warm evening.


South London Art Map last Fridays.

They do a little tour of lesser know galleries you see.


Martin x  


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I think it’s doing a thing about class divides and a controlling state…

No not Britain since the election silly!



I did a political gag.


Wonderland? The one what Alice went to.

Mummy and Daddy and Paul and Sarah all played the role of the lowlifes but some of their number got to eat tarts.

Swings and roundabouts.


What was it like?

I’m going to use the word sumptuous to describe the sets.

And now I’m going to use some other words: worm, rabbit, hatter, eat me, drink me, walrus, carpenter, can’t take photos, queen of hearts.

You didn’t really have to listen to what they were actually saying except when they said “what is life if not a dream?” which is, like, true.

Oh I haven’t actually said it was interactive theatre.

Oh well. 

Having pizza now.




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Today it was three pounds which isn’t much really.

@tpgallery #photographersgallery


What’s this? 2 shows you say?


With a mixture of excitement and urgency we climbed the stairs, stopping off for a wee on floor 2.


Then the excitement really starts.

First we explored the poetry in everyday suituations. That’s right… The photography of Shirley Baker.

Some words: black, white, matchstalk, men, matchstalk, cats, dogs, grans, grim, Manchester, hope, eyes.

Next we went to the bit called… We Want More.

I didn’t want more. It would have been too much.


Martin x


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What’s this then?



A pile of old bricks?

No silly, it’s a modulation of space in relation to your own body.


There is a lot of stuff @_thewhitechapel #londonopen2015.

Some words: bricks, nudity, pottery, mud, lovely water colours, feelings, neon, stones.


Martin x 


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It’s nice when things are paired together beautifully.

Bangers and mash.

Gin and tonic.

Horses and carriages.

Love and marriage.

Americans and Englishmen

And music and art.


You see that’s what they’ve done here @nationalgallery #soundscapes.

Some words: A lake, choirs, skulls, electronica, The Tudors, monks, orchestras, John the Baptist, ballet, Jesus, bathers, another lake.

I wonder about the invigilators hearing the same music and looking at the same paintings over and over again.

They are beautiful the pairings but… All day.

The Cezanne was my favourite.

All haunting.


Martin x


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Lynette Yiadom-Boakye@serpentineuk

“Painting for me is the subject.”


Some words: I think she’s a good painter and quite clever but I don’t like them.

Ok, I like the way she does the eyes and I like the parrot.


Martin x


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I like the tube strike.

Leave early.

Pay a cheque in or something.

Go to an ‘off west end’ gallery or something.

Perhaps that’s not the point.


First lets do the exhibition @_thewhitechapel that wasn’t so good…

Corin Sworn (good name)

Some words: big fat brown rod, decanters, mice, robes, fairy lights… You get the picture.

Sort of 3 Colin Starsish.

Now the really good one:

Rivane Neuenschwander.

Some words: Ebola, fear, clowns, guns, knives, thunder, God, fear, children’s clothes.

Sounds good, right?

5 Colin Stars.


Martin xx


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I really, really liked Barbara Hepworth @tate.

It was nearly as good as Agnes Martin @tate modern.

But this wasn’t nothingness. This was… thingness.


Some words: balls, string, paint, tension, very busy, surgery, women, animals, marble, bronze, wood, walking all the way round things, inside, outside, love.


It starts of with a room with lots of different sculptures by different people.

I liked the onyx toad the best.

Then there is a room that is all drawings and paintings of her.

Then it’s things actually by her.

5 Colin Stars.


Martin xx 



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