AVERAGE

“An average person loses 200000 bits and bobs in their lifetime.”

Should be more careful.

Some words: tickets, coins, combs, playing cards, clips, pens, money, oysters, grandparents.

They build a history out of these things don’t they.
Museums.

This one was Rainham Hall. It is one of those merchant houses from the olden times.

You know the ones.

This one was good.

*****

Imagine if you could only take 10 things somewhere.
Mummy and daddy said:


Below Eli but above each other.

Il take that.

5 Colin Stars.

It was very good.

Cheers,

Martin x

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STAIN

“Reading, embroidering, entertaining guests or strolling in the private garden.”

Wasn’t a bad life.

*****

@EastburyManor House, Barking. @nationaltrust.

*****

What’s this?

“No respectable Tudor lady wore knickers not even the queen.”

Goodness.

I was wondering about urine?

“Washerwoman used it as a stain remover.
Cloth makers used it to clean there wool.
Dyers added it to their coloured dyes to stop the colours from washing out.”

I use it to mark my territory.

The rooms were good when they had stuff in.

Particularly enjoyed the “chamber above the buttery.”

3 Colin Stars,

Cheers,

Martin x


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BLITHERING

“You’re going to love this.”
“I love this.”

Except she didn’t really love it.
She virtually loved it.
Or really loved the virtual.

*****

What’s this staffy blithering on about?
Art, innit.
#Dreamkubrick @somersethouse.
There was a virtual reality bit to answer your question.
I think it was from ‘2001-A Space Odyssey’ but I could find a guidebook.

*****

Still it was very, very good…
Look at this!


And this!


Profound too, innit.

*****

5 Colin Stars.
£12.50 but you don’t at all mind.

Cheers,

Martin X

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THE BABY WOT BLOGS

Martin wasn’t in the mood for Georgia O’Keeffe @tate modern (“all them bloomin flowers”) so Eli went to his first art exhibition, with his mummy and daddy, and blogged.

*****

I liked it when my daddy took me out the pram and put me over his shoulder.

I like moving around. It keeps me calm.

Like daddy.

I like the patterns and the colours.

Like daddy.

I liked looking at the beautiful visions.

Such as my mummy.

Cheers,

Eli x

PS I’m very advanced and want to point out to Martin it should read ‘The Dog THAT Blogs.’

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NEW

This afternoon I…

Found “New ways of seeing.”

Experienced “New truths.”

Witnessed “New forms of modern beauty.”

All a bit much for a dank Wednesday.

#paintingwithlight @tate

*****

Turns out painting and photography are linked.

Copying, correcting, challenging and complementing.

I can do that.


Or


Or


“Truth in every particular ought to be the aim of the artist.”

Okay, tomorrow.

“Rejecting nothing, selecting nothing.”

Iv other things to do.

This was the best one…

Arthur Hacker ‘A Wet Night at Piccadilly Circus.’


But I mucked around with it.

4 Colin Stars,

Cheers,

Martin X

PS the other great thing was the shop…

Bought Eli his 1st proper ted…

The cashier joked that she feels cruel putting them in bags because it might remind them of the days when they were vacuum packed…….

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DISTURBS

Baby sometimes disturbs my afternoon dognaps (he’s a lot more demanding than me) so I sashayed over to @tate modern for #monahatoum.

“I want the work in the first instance to have a strong formal presence and through the physical experience to activate a psychological and emotional response.”

Don’t we all, love.

There was a cheese grater turned into a bed which I thought was a clever idea.

Reminded me a lot of the old nail iron of Man Ray.

“A world characterised by conflicts and contradictions.”

You’re telling me.

But Staffies are lovers not fighters.

5 Colin Stars.

I really liked it.

Cheers,

Martin x

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ORANGE

Art eh?

*****

I was invited to take an orange from a pile.

But I couldn’t take a picture.

*****

 “Art works were ordered, not by space or volume, but by time.”

*****

I don’t like oranges.

*****

“Reading rather than looking.”

*****

Ok, ok… 5 Colin Stars.

Cheers,

Martin xx

 
PS On the way home I couldn’t shut my bag because of the blinkin orange.

2 Colin Stars. 

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CEASELESSLY

I looked into the bottomless pit.
I looked through Facebook.
A sense of self is fabricated via a supply chain of objects, ideas and experiences.
It’s just us… our perseverating embrace… I think I prefer it that way.
Ceaselessly circulating.
Ceaselessly stimulating.
David’s proposal was to make a work on how America broke his heart.
I didn’t do anything because I was scared.
There was, like, crying.
Yes, I feel you baby.
I wish it was different.
Hiroshima.
I had to take my shoes off.

(Some words).

Cheers,

Martinxx

  

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SITTING DOWN

I was caught in a synaptic circus this Sunday afternoon.

*****

Rose English @camdenartsctr.

*****

It was also dark and I didn’t realise there were seats for a while and when I did I was pleased because my absolute favourite thing is sitting down.

*****

Some words: darkness, synaptic circus, chairs, glass, sopranos, filigree, it’s a balancing act, blowing, shattering, flying.

*****

Not sure I understood it but I liked it.

5 Colin Stars.

You should go.

Except you can’t coz it finishes today.

Oh well, eh?

Life.

Cheers,

Martin x

  

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PAINT

Some words: paint, nudity, Japan, oranges, cross dressing, Instagram, school children, mail order brides, masks, feminism, a tree, a leap into the unknown.

“It wasn’t purely documentation; it was about figuration in painting. I would photograph a performance and I was really into looking at the images.”

@tate modern.

#performingforthecamera

“A game between I am me.”

Duchamp, innit.

4 Colin Stars.

Cheers,

Martin x

  

  
 

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