So.
You can go on private views.
If you send em a ‘like’ or an email…
Heres the ticket… there is often free wine and pretty girls…
love,
Harley xx
The dog what blogs
Cultural diary of my Staffordshire Bull Terrier, Martin.
Tag Archives: gallery
HEDGE UR BETS
So there was some art.
A new gallery.
The Pangolin.
It had pieces by famous people like Damien Hirst (he conceived the sharks to move) and sarah lucas.
*****
But best is having some food and some football with your dad.
Its funny going to the premier league which is epic… The noise.
After non league which is cheap but dull.
In the middle is lovely cuddly often rubbish @leytonorientfc which has bearable toilets, singing but slightly easier prices.
Hedge your bets?
Have lots of teams.
Then if one loses…
What? They all lost??
Quadruple depression.
But i went with my dad so it was still great.
*****
In the evening it is sometimes ok to watch the telly.
And even if your crushingly lonely if you have a clever staffy* and an i app you can play along with telly quizzes to make u feel 10% better.
Like million pound drop which is all…
Hedge ur bets.
See what i did there?
Love,
Colinxx
*a condition of letting me use the blog.
“at least stars burn out brightly”Big head
Thomas Schutte.
Serpentine Gallery.
Big heads.
Daddy’s got a big head.
Take that how you like.
Take it both ways.
What to say about this?
Big heads really.
Sometimes there were little heads watching the big heads.
We @thedogwhatblogs find the serpentine gallery is a good passing through sort of gallery if your trekking from a calm continental library to a writing group in a Starbucks.
Im offering you a whole lifestyle here punters.
love,
Harleyxx
JOINING THE SPLODGES PART 2
You know the other post we were making ill informed liberal left rants about oppressive police states?
Here’s another example.
Though I think we’ll let them off.
They are the Bank of England.
They have a free museum.
It is OK.
You get to lift a gold bar and pull your tongue out in gentle rebellion at the CCTV.
The old banknotes and shit are decent #eyecandy.
There are some videos that try to explain such things as inflation to stupid Politics graduates like the boy wonder.
All in all a respectable 2 and half out of 5.
Dont take the kids.
*****
Heres another case of joining the splodges…
You know the other post we were making ill informed philistine rants at black and white photography @tate?
Well we saw another parade of black and whites today at the Timothy Taylor gallery in Mayfair (hoooowww Iiii beloooonged).
These were of, for want of a better word, freaks.
They were freaks.
Hey Im a Staffy I dont do PC. This is an edgy blog. Political balance.
There was many nudists.
Some words: cock, boobs, fanny.
And cross dressers.
It was very interesting.
More interesting than #anotherlondon anyway.
This was #anotherworld.
Although he’s been known to flirt with the fringes.
Actors,
Love,
Harleyxx
SLAM
Let me say this to you by means of an opening hypothesis (mummy did science):
“Sometimes you dont want an iwhatever.. Sometimes you want a piece of paper.”
Here is one such instance.
South London Art Map control the first friday in the month and have branded it according.
We r detecting a trend for branding days and times.
Like all the olympics business is mildly disturbing.
God that was politics.
I do culture.
So we hit the galleries of london's glittering Peckham with an eventual hard copy.
Its lovely having them open late (he lies in… Dont start me) and lovely having a map but we a tiny bit feel its quite a dashing about 2 hours.
Tho if wed thought about it a bit more.
We need to be more succinct.
Lewisham Art Space: yeah, abstract.
Peckham Space: yeah, multisensory.
South London Gallery and Southwark Old Town Hall: yeah, now this we really liked. Big. Normally we like small/short but for art we like big/grand. A whole white room full of trophies. This is 5 star eye candy. Oh! The themes!!
The town hall… Remember when we went to Hornsey Town Hall for the jewish thing?
Of course you do. Well this was all like that. Films in council chambers maximises the coolness.
Go,
Love,
Harleyxx
http://www.southlondonartmap.com/
fingers crossed for richmond tommorrow
YOU’RE SPENT IN 25 MINUTES…
Saville Row.
Stylish Staffy about town.
Two galleries.
7min from Oxford Circus.
1) Hauser and Wirth. Gallermo Kuitca.
We thought “Oo they look like maps.”
And lo and behold in the little leaflet it says they’re from maps.
Maps are great art.
Yes, yes, yes the tube map.
Some words: tubey, mountainy, no cock, vast, ducks, no fanny, dissolving into abstraction, no boobs.
Hop over the road…
this is 5 minute art…
If you were going to writing after or something you could fit it in…
2) Ordovas. Calder.
some words: mobiles, no boobs, playful, no cock, shadows, no fanny, jingle jangle, primary colours.
25 min and you are back on the tube all imaged up with a place to go…
Il let you know how crap he was in the quiz.
Its a league… you know… I told you.
love,
Harleyxx
and god we loved her
http://www.hauserwirth.com/
FASCINATING SKYSCRAPERS BASED ON THE 3 LITTLE PIGS
Heres another little something.
UCL has little fantastic museums.
We are collecting the set.
See! We dont just glibly go on about modern art and being sad and penniless.
We glibly go on about museums and being sad and penniless.
Oo thats a good link.
At the UCL Art Gallery there was a cabinet on our favourite George Orwell.
Down and Out in Paris and London.
It had old books. Like a British Library exhibition but shorter and freer.
We think thats always better.
It had some other interesting cabinets and a display all about londontown from contemporary artists.
Fascinating skyscrapers based on the three little pigs.
There is also a japaneseish garden for sunning. We like japan and sun and peace.
Lovely.
Love,
Harleyxx
http://www.ucl.ac.uk/museums/uclart
YOUR FRIENDLY DRIVER JASON
We @thedogwhatblogs hate the Piccadilly Line.
Well we did…
*****
We were going to blog about some tedious/pretentious/cool* gallery.
We still might in a bit but twice we’ve encountered a certain London character.
“Your friendly driver Jason.”
Friendly/wonderful/too much* (see also albiestar).
Alleviating the pain of post-leicester squarers and post-heathrowers.
We are bound to under or oversell this gent.
Heres an audioboo.
He wasnt at his best today but basically he gives a lot of additional information about what side the doors open and stuff. He warns you very earnestly about the gaps.
Anyway we like people who try so we will opt for “wonderful.”
*****
Gallery. Matts. Mile End. Walk by the canal. Coots, evil cyclists and relaxation.
Fiona Crisp
Photographer.
Some words: leaves, no cock, john keats, light, shade, crisp, no fanny, eschew, no boobs, water, stourhead, instagrammy, democracy.
*****
After murdering green day at singing and being soothed by our friendly driver Jason’s more dulcet tones we opted for a movie: Storage 24.
With him from Dr Who who’s more multi talented than you think.
Cineworld Wood Green. One of north londons premier entertainment destinations.
Look we did philosophy last week…
Storage 24 then.
Some words: relationships, plane crash, people change, scary, why? i want to know why?, difficult meetings, storage, cellars, monsters
Love,
Harleyxx
*delete as applicable
FUCK NEWSNIGHT
Fuck newsnight review.
Fuck radio 4.
Fuck time out.*
This is the essential review of Edvard Munch @tate.
First we want to say how much we enjoy just saying his name.
Have a try now.
So what have we got?
Some words: kisses, melty, vampires, many many boobs, staring, bad instagram photos, insanity, arrogance, death, illness, ghosty, starry night, pissed up brawl with a mate, cine films, the averted eye, no cock and compulsion.
I think that covers it.
Love,
Harleyxx
PS Youve waited all day for that review
*We modelled the opening on Hugh Grant in ‘Four Weddings’ #fyi
IS A JAPANESE BOY
Its not just a catchy title ohhhh no.
Today me and the boy wonder @albiestar have been having a Japanese day.
A triumphant return to the world of origami @oliverscafe fired a spark in his head and thus begun our oriental adventures.
Perhaps we’re #overegging this.
Like we do with marriages and pretentious art exhibitions.
So post-folding we sashayed over to the @serpentinegallery.
Shall we tell you why?
Yoko Ono.
Fuck me I dont know if anyones noticed but shes absolutely billybonkers.
On a scale of 1-10 where my owner is a good seven she’s a clear nine.
Some words: dirt, jigsaws, pubic hair, perspex, army hats, yes John Lennon, blurry things, magrittian apple business, notepads, bums, no frontal penises or fannys.
It was kind of a link with the imagine (ha!) exhibition I didnt write about.
Letting you be the artist blah blah blah.
Being lazy.
There was a wishing tree.
Not wanting to be racist but…
There’s a different set of priorities in the orient. And we dont mean Leyton (ha!).
Is that racist?
Im not sure staffordshire bull terriers can be racist so I will continue…
Don’t worry im nearly finished…
We went to @japancentre which contains all wonder of kooky merriment.
Some of it yummy.
There was a heated debate where a man who was being told off for dripping sushi on some saucy tomes.
It was very funny.
Love,
Harleyxx
http://www.oliversvillagecafe.com/
http://www.serpentinegallery.org/