Category Archives: art

GET IT

Had to queue up with the plebs it was so busy.

Blooming joke.

They should have put a sign up.

A lady was becoming flustered.

#Hockney @tate.

*****

Some of it I liked. Some of it I didn’t.

Some words: Splash, bottoms, parents, iPads, Yorkshire.

I liked the ones where he coloured them properly in but not the ones where he coloured them in too much.

Thats the tension inherent in Modern Art.

3 Colin Stars,

Cheers,

Martin x

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FUTURES

Come on…

Who doesn’t want to lie down in an art gallery on a big black cushion and be guided through an archive of alternative futures?

No-one.

Actually it was really good.

Joachim Koester @camdenartsctr

*****

But when I get home I like to lie down on Baby Eli’s play mat.

Because I love him.

But I’m not meant to.

Because I might get it dirty.

But I love him so much.

I keep doing it.

Who wouldn’t?

No-one.

Cheers,

Martin xx

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INSIGHT

“We possess an extraordinary instrument for reproduction. But photography is much more than that.” #Maholy-Nagy

*****

You need to make the most of blogs about pictures that don’t look like what they’re meant to be because soon I’ll be reviewing beaches and tea houses in the sticks.

*****

Some words: black, white, men, women, masks, poverty, Elton John, shadows, eyes, tears, marbles, eye cubes, rice.

It’s that kind of staffy insight you’re going to miss.

Cheers,

Martin x

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BLITHERING

“You’re going to love this.”
“I love this.”

Except she didn’t really love it.
She virtually loved it.
Or really loved the virtual.

*****

What’s this staffy blithering on about?
Art, innit.
#Dreamkubrick @somersethouse.
There was a virtual reality bit to answer your question.
I think it was from ‘2001-A Space Odyssey’ but I could find a guidebook.

*****

Still it was very, very good…
Look at this!


And this!


Profound too, innit.

*****

5 Colin Stars.
£12.50 but you don’t at all mind.

Cheers,

Martin X

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THE BABY WOT BLOGS

Martin wasn’t in the mood for Georgia O’Keeffe @tate modern (“all them bloomin flowers”) so Eli went to his first art exhibition, with his mummy and daddy, and blogged.

*****

I liked it when my daddy took me out the pram and put me over his shoulder.

I like moving around. It keeps me calm.

Like daddy.

I like the patterns and the colours.

Like daddy.

I liked looking at the beautiful visions.

Such as my mummy.

Cheers,

Eli x

PS I’m very advanced and want to point out to Martin it should read ‘The Dog THAT Blogs.’

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NEW

This afternoon I…

Found “New ways of seeing.”

Experienced “New truths.”

Witnessed “New forms of modern beauty.”

All a bit much for a dank Wednesday.

#paintingwithlight @tate

*****

Turns out painting and photography are linked.

Copying, correcting, challenging and complementing.

I can do that.


Or


Or


“Truth in every particular ought to be the aim of the artist.”

Okay, tomorrow.

“Rejecting nothing, selecting nothing.”

Iv other things to do.

This was the best one…

Arthur Hacker ‘A Wet Night at Piccadilly Circus.’


But I mucked around with it.

4 Colin Stars,

Cheers,

Martin X

PS the other great thing was the shop…

Bought Eli his 1st proper ted…

The cashier joked that she feels cruel putting them in bags because it might remind them of the days when they were vacuum packed…….

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DISTURBS

Baby sometimes disturbs my afternoon dognaps (he’s a lot more demanding than me) so I sashayed over to @tate modern for #monahatoum.

“I want the work in the first instance to have a strong formal presence and through the physical experience to activate a psychological and emotional response.”

Don’t we all, love.

There was a cheese grater turned into a bed which I thought was a clever idea.

Reminded me a lot of the old nail iron of Man Ray.

“A world characterised by conflicts and contradictions.”

You’re telling me.

But Staffies are lovers not fighters.

5 Colin Stars.

I really liked it.

Cheers,

Martin x

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ORANGE

Art eh?

*****

I was invited to take an orange from a pile.

But I couldn’t take a picture.

*****

 “Art works were ordered, not by space or volume, but by time.”

*****

I don’t like oranges.

*****

“Reading rather than looking.”

*****

Ok, ok… 5 Colin Stars.

Cheers,

Martin xx

 
PS On the way home I couldn’t shut my bag because of the blinkin orange.

2 Colin Stars. 

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SITTING DOWN

I was caught in a synaptic circus this Sunday afternoon.

*****

Rose English @camdenartsctr.

*****

It was also dark and I didn’t realise there were seats for a while and when I did I was pleased because my absolute favourite thing is sitting down.

*****

Some words: darkness, synaptic circus, chairs, glass, sopranos, filigree, it’s a balancing act, blowing, shattering, flying.

*****

Not sure I understood it but I liked it.

5 Colin Stars.

You should go.

Except you can’t coz it finishes today.

Oh well, eh?

Life.

Cheers,

Martin x

  

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PAINT

Some words: paint, nudity, Japan, oranges, cross dressing, Instagram, school children, mail order brides, masks, feminism, a tree, a leap into the unknown.

“It wasn’t purely documentation; it was about figuration in painting. I would photograph a performance and I was really into looking at the images.”

@tate modern.

#performingforthecamera

“A game between I am me.”

Duchamp, innit.

4 Colin Stars.

Cheers,

Martin x

  

  
 

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